My money's on the bear

cos it can atleast kinda swim but if u put a shark on land its screwed.... ok so it made sense in my head

Don't say 'vagina' around me

vagina
ahhhhh its just not a good word it makes me cringe

the inevitable

my grandma is in hospital again in intensive care.... she has a large build up of fluid around her heart.... shes sick.... she told one of my aunts she didnt want to come back from hospital this time.... my dad and his brothers and sister were all rung on friday to make a decission regarding DNR orders and they all greed that it was best just to let her go.... i know thats what she would want but it still hurts thet they would just stand there and let her go i know it selfish to think that but she my grandma and even though im 23 i dont feel like ive had enough time with her.... i want more time.... i want to go and see here but no one will let me.... last time she was sick i was staying with friends 5 hours away from her and i wanted to go see her but everyone kept saying "no remember her how she was last time u seen her" nobody realises how much it would have hurt me if she hadnt made it and i was that close and hadnt gone and seen her.... my dad wont fly up and see her cos hes still scared from seeing his dad really sick before he died and that his choice but isnt it my choice if i want to see her.... they all say but you'll be so hurt if she doesn't know who you are and i know i will be but atleast ill be able to say i got to say goodbye to her doesnt that mean more.... and the family is pissing me off they are being so petty they were fighting over who would write the obituary and i said i would but no one listens to me then someone couldnt visit her today cos they had bowls on today.... for f**ks sake its your mother.... im so hurt and angry i wish i lived closer so i could go sit with her even if she didnt know who i was even if she dident know i was there.... someone should be with her....

ive always known that she would die eventually ive always been very concious of death but know that its happening its so so different to what i expected.... now i feel like im just waiting for her to die and i dont like that feeling it feels wrong

my tattoos and my tongue piercing

sometimes google scares me

whatever u do DO NOT google princes wand

something u never need to know

the perals of internet dating

ok so i hate to admit this but im lonely and dont have a life so i've recently been try the craze known as internet dating and may i say it sucks.... ok so maybe im going to the wrong sites but seriously are there any guys left out there that actually want anything more then sex.... i am so over the messages i get such as "oh baby ur hot you make me so hard" or "can i see a pic of u naked?" or my personal favourite "i want u so bad i want to stick my hard beep into ur wet beep".... i mean come on do u really think im going to want to bump beeps after one messages and a profile that says things such as "i go for hours" or "i know how u like it" or "im huge" or and i love this on "im such a sexual animal that my wife cant keep up".... it seems to me that men are becoming less willing to do the usual get to know u type things to get sex instead they think that with just one message that pretty much only consists of a phone number they can get u into bed.... NEWSFLASH BOYS this is not a night club i am not drunk.... and even though these things irritate me to no end i keep going back to these sites.... i keep hoping that the next guy that looks at my profile will be the one guy on the whole site who isnt just looking for sex..... i know im a sucker.... i know i should try old fashioned dating but im no good at it.... maybe i should just accept that i will die alone

obsession 1 - sylvia plath

So last night I was reading about Sylvia Plath on www.findadeath.com a celebrity death site that I find very interesting and fascinating and I'm dying to meet the site owner Scott.... Anyway I was reading about Sylvia and her death and read that Ariel is considered one of her best works..... And I realised I've never actually read anything by Sylvia Plath..... I decided it was about time I did..... For some reason I decided to start with Ariel and I realise now it was probably a mistake but alas I don’t have a time machine.....
I sat and I read Ariel about 5 times before I realised I only knew what she was talking about 20% of the time so being the person that I am I started to look round and see if I could find some sort of explanation.... I found a couple but I wasn’t happy with them.... So at 12:30am an hour after I had intended to go to bed I started to try and understand what Sylvia was trying to say.... I felt this great urgent need to understand it like nothing else could happen until I did.... For 2 hours I went through the possible meanings behind every line and what I already knew and what other people had said.... I understand it a bit more now but not completely ..... While I would love to share my interpretation of the poem I can’t because I don’t think mine is right..... But if you are a Sylvia fan I would love to talk to you about it...
So there you have it my new found obsession with and love of Sylvia Plath I plan to buy and read The Bell Jar as soon I have the money and then no doubt I’ll have more to write on the subject.... But for now this is all I have to say....

in the begining

So here it start..... The begining or the end...... I thought I would start a new blog so my friends don't have to listen to my endless rambling unlesss they want to.... Which in the end they probably won't but i hope someone gets entertainent out of my ability to ramble endlessly about nothing but then at times have absolutley nothing to say or atleast nothing that makes sense....

So enjoy stick around the shows just starting maybe one of these days I might say something profound and amazing, I doubt it but do you really want to risk missing out if I do...........